Who's on Fifth?

My family travels a bit without me sometimes, because I'm in school, work, or otherwise can't be bothered to pack into a SUV with my parents and two younger siblings and they on occasion come back with tales of how I should have gone because relative X was so cute, or museum Y was so cool. During their most recent romp to Washington, D.C. they discovered a restaurant that "has the best burgers ever, omg." That's a hard sell to me, being someone who kind of enjoys beef. Then the chain opened up in Swampscott, a neighboring town in Salem, not too far over the border in a place I frequent for restaurants anyway, so I decided to check it out opening week.

Five Guys started in Arlington, Virginia in 1986, which gives it some staying power, at least. However, this did not sell it for me. When I got there, it was packed. Like, stupid packed. This may be because President Obama said something about how they're more or less awesome, or because it's been opening week. The line moved pretty fast, though.

Ordered the food, and then waited. The wait wasn't too long, and was accompanied by complimentary peanuts, which are kind of a bad munchy food--so much refuse for so little edibility. Anyway, then the order was up. And I'm happy to say that mine was the only burger of the party that actually was what I ordered. Everyone else got something completely different from what they had asked for. That kind of put of a buzz kill on the whole experience, as my friends and family were forced to go get their food fixed while I dined on my burger. Which was not "omg, best burger ever"--not even close. It was average. Better than any fast food joint, to be sure, but not worth all the hype.

I think working there would suck pretty hard, too. There were so many people behind the counter, preparing burgers, fries, hot dogs, and everything else, I actually saw a girl getting her eye bandaged for some injury I'm not even sure what it was, but I felt bad nonetheless. Behind the counter at a fast food joint should not be that busy, and I hope the girl gets a lot of money for an eye injury. I'm sure most of the people who I saw working won't be there past the month because they were mostly there to feed the huge crowds, but once they novelty of the new place dies down, they won't need so many people anymore.

In closing, this isn't a restaurant I will be frequenting, nor do I think I will ever really go there again. But why would you listen to me? Obama said it was good.

Your loyal Democrat:
-Evan "Dez" O'Connor