It has been unfortunate that I haven't read a single book that was written this year. I love reading, but while finishing my degree I've been reading a lot of older books and even in my private reading I find there are books of years past that I somehow missed. This will all be rectified when I get my Kindle (!) but it doesn't excuse that I have barely any books to review.
The state of movies this year is a big disappointment. I hate Harry Potter and Twilight with a fiery passion that only intense apathy can subdue. The new Transformers movie, as evident in my review of it, was Michael Bay's opus to jock-headed douchebags everywhere. I was let down by UP due to all the hype that surrounded it, and I thought The Hangover (again, as can be read here) was something completely different from the rest of the country. I finally saw Star Trek and Inglourious Basterds after Christmas and loved both of them. The movies I enjoyed were the hits such as District 9 and Star Trek, mostly. I never got a chance to see Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, and I see that as a failure on my part. The year was a wreck, as most of the movies I saw were crap, and I didn't see all that many anyway. The Official Dark Portal Reviews Best Movie of 2009 is going to have to be Star Trek.
Star Trek worried me. Being a relatively avid Trekkie, I disliked the idea of a sequel/prequel/reboot of a series of television and film that has been among my top serials of all time. Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman brought a good story to please old and new fans, and J.J. Abrams the directing the film needed to catch the eyes of both groups. Chris Pine came out of nowhere with his fantastic rendition of a youthful James Tiberius Kirk without imitating Shatner at all. Zachary Quinto, dispite my dislike for Heroes, has a decent Spock-ean look about him. I'm fairly certain he's the only Vulcan who could say "Live long and prosper" and have it mean "Screw yourself back to the blackhole." Anton Yelchin's Chekov grated my nerves, but Simon Pegg's Scotty made up for it. John Cho as Sulu warmed my heart, and probably did the same to George Takei. Karl Urban mad to have been channeling DeForest Kelley with every inflection he gave. The whole thing made me excited for the new series of films they're putting together for Gene Roddenberry's creation.There were lots of video games this year--significantly more than the movies I saw. I used to have a reputation at my video game store of trying all the epically bad games to see just how bad they actually were. I did less of that this year, going for games like inFamous, UFC 2009 Undisputed, Brütal Legend, Borderlands, and The Saboteur bringing freshness to the video game scene, there were a slew of sequels kicking up dust like Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, Left 4 Dead 2, and Assassin's Creed II. The year had a lot of games I thought were really lame as well. MadWorld was cool, but was too short and didn't have enough variety. Tekken 6 had so much to love, but the Mortal Kombat Armaggedon running-action gameplay which takes up most of it just isn't what I want to do when I put a Tekken game on. I think my title of Worst Game of All Time was beaten out with Jurassic: The Hunted surpassing the utter garbage that was Timeshift. The Dark Portal Reviews Best Video Game of 2009 is Borderlands.
Borderlands (PlayStation 3/Xbox 360/PC) was under my radar for a long time, and even when I got the game it sat on my table unopened for days. When I finally put it in, I didn't notice how much time had gone by until I had been playing for five hours. The game is literally what Diablo would have been were it a first-person shooter. The graphics are unique and don't push you away. Gearbox knows how to make shooters, being veterans of the first Half-Life spin-off, Opposing Force. The game can last forever, especially when playing on multiplayer, which only grew in fervor much like the Diablo series. With two DLC packs already, the game is still growing in value as to how much fun you can actually have with your game systems. It's super-challenging at times, and brutally easy the next, but the game is never hard enough to stop playing. The game carries its paper-thin story on graphics, gameplay, and humor that won't quit. I didn't follow a lot of TV, as I usually wait for things to come out on DVD. The shows I did follow were Burn Notice, House, Doctor Who, Dexter, and Weeds. The shows I've been watching have been enjoyable, with not much bad to say about them. Weeds keeps finding more shit for the Botwins to find themselves in. Burn Notice was only on its sophomore season, and it didn't disappoint. Doctor Who has unfortunately been in short supply, but what did air were some gems of the show. Dexter was amazing with the Trinity story and the finale ended on a very emotional way. Dark Portal Reviews declares the best television series of 2009 is House. Even though it's not completely over, the premier of season six was possibly the single best episode of House I have ever seen and the progression of every character of the show into something different and new.
2009 was an eh year for music. Even with great releases from Weezer and Five Finger Death Punch, Killswitch Engage put out their most disappointing album to date. Lots of other bands I have historically followed had releases, and I'm only noticing that as I go back and look over a list of the year's musical releases on Wikipedia. Such is the cost of not being on the radio anymore. The Dark Portal Reviews Best Album of 2009 is--hands down--Raditude by Weezer.
Now that we've made it ten years into this new millennium, I think it's safe to say we're pretty much all screwed.
-Evan "Dez" O'Connor
