Senko Yes Ronde

As previously stated, I work at a video game store. The people I work with are gamers, much like myself. We don't always like the same types of games, obviously. One of my coworkers is very into fighting games. When we started hanging out, I couldn't have disagreed more. I prefer games with a good story and interesting and fun gameplay. The "same crap, different shovel" approach to games is NOT what I'm going for. But in the time I've been there, fighting games have grown on me. One game in particular caught me awkwardly. When it was first presented to me I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen--absolutely pointless and why the hell is this even on my tv? The next morning, I couldn't get it out of my brain and I wanted to play it.

WarTech: Senko No Ronde for the Xbox 360 (2007) was originally released in 2005 as an arcade game in Japan. Less than a year and a half later, it was ported to the 360 in Japan and nearly a year later, the Ubisoft brought the game to the states. Why Ubisoft did that I will never understand. Then again, I will never understand why Ubisoft publishes games like Haze and the Imagine series when it could be doing Assassin's Creed, No More Heroes, and Rainbow Six. Publishing companies have been going up and down in ranking of completely useless to pioneering and fun--places that historically were held by EA and Activision respectively and completely flip-flopped in 2008--but Ubisoft have always pushed a few really good titles while grinding out the crap with a vengeance. Not as harshly as CodeMasters, but crap nonetheless.

Since story is so important to me, I feel like I should mention it here. Problem is, I've never been able to decipher it. So here is what Wikipedia says.

"Due to a past catastrophe on Earth, humanity was forced to live amongst the stars for several centuries, resulting in the creation of the S.D. calendar and the birth of the Aria Federation, an empire whose influence extends from Earth to Saturn. In S.D. 1478, an embassy located within the empire's capital on Earth's moon was seized by terrorists, and forces deployed by Aria's Special Space Service ended in disaster as the terrorists triggered a self-detonation device, killing themselves and several civilians in the process.

The actual game begins six years after this event, with the player assuming the role of one of eight characters who will become involved in a mastermind's scheme to take control of the Aria Federation's superweapon and use it for his own purposes."

Yeah, I'm not even sure if that's right. But there it is, I guess.

WarTech is a cross between a top-down shooter a la R-Type and a 2D fighting game. You're probably thinking what my cousins, friends, and siblings think when they see me play it: Double-you tee eff. That's what I thought too. I thought this was the most retarded collection of pixels to ever invade my television, and I couldn't wait till my friend left and took the abomination with him. But the next morning as I play Soul Calibur, I couldn't help but want to taste the graphical explosions of that Japanese epileptic seizure. I went to my local game store and bought a used copy for less than $10.

Each character has a crappy anime picture of them, but its irrelevant because they fight in these robot suits called Rounders (don't ask me why, I don't know). These Rounders shoot random patterns of lasers and bombs until someone presses the right trigger and the Rounder becomes the irritating B.O.S.S. at the end of all those levels of Aegis Wing. Problem is that this mode is harder than hell to control. Unless you have a strategy guide in front of you--or you're Japanese--you don't know what buttons do what, so it more or less becomes "Button-mashing mode" and hoping something you're hitting will be the ultra-super attack that wrecks the other player. The BOSS mode is a good way to save yourself if you're low on health and a good way to kill your opponent if you can press it before they do.

Other than the obvious Versus mode, there is a Score Attack, which is basically arcade mode, and a Story mode. I have beaten Score Attack with every character and Story with all but one and I had NO idea what the story for the game was until I started writing this review and looked it up. That, and they all speak in Japanese, with tiny English subtitles. Even in the middle of fights, when the last thing you're paying attention to in the maelstrom of blasters, missiles, and spinning melee attacks are the semi-transparent little faces with words coming out of them.

Where Soul Calibur is a fighting game which is based on the 360 degree fighting arena and your moves being particular to what angle you're attacking from, Mortal Kombat is based on the unique moves of each character, Street Fighter is based on each characters strengths and weaknesses, and Virtua Fighter is based on combos, WarTech's fighting system is based on how close or how far away you are from each other. When you're far away, you fire wildly. A little closer, and it gets a bit more concentrated. Closer to the inner circle, you spin out of control and try to hit them with a melee attack. It was hard to get at first, but after a couple of matches, the gameplay really comes together.

I tend to recommend this game to most everyone I know, but it's mostly because I think it's funny to see their confused faces. No one ever plays it. It is a crazy storm of random crap that will never make sense and is far too short to ever amount to too much fun. But for under $10, even brand new, you really can't lose. It's been compared a lot to Virtual On, which I played once on my Dreamcast, so if you've actually played and enjoyed those games, I would seriously suggest WarTech: Senko No Ronde. Otherwise, I will suggest you play it only because it amuses me.

-Evan "Dez" O'Connor