Redskull Motors

Here's another one with curses, and this review on something based on an subjective experience I've had with my car I bought from a shop in my hometown.

I grew up in Gloucester, Massachusetts--something I do not like admitting. I am utterly ashamed to be from this town; I have told my mother to her face that she is a bad parent for voluntarily raising children here (I'm actually writing this from my mother's house, as opposed to my apartment in Salem). You will never find a more concentrated place of stupid and just plain bad people. The school system is the worst in New England, if not the entire East coast. When most people hear I'm from Gloucester, they ask me one of two questions. The first: "Are you anyone's father?" due in large because of the teen pregnancy thing that happened at the high school back in 2008. That question makes me hit people. The second and less asked question is "Why are the Gloucester sports teams so good?" Steroids and a total lack of brain cells on the part of all the players. But this is all a moot point. This review is of a local car shop with a good reputation that has been in business for over thirty years.

Whitehead Motors is owned by the Whitehead family, obviously, and they are your typical Gloucester people. No brains, stupid mouths, and relatively worthless except to do their menial jobs that they think takes so much skill to do. Their wrong. They're always going to be wrong. People like them exist only to make me look better.

As a personal history lesson, I drove a 1997 Nissan Sentra for four years until the transmission fell out of it as I was driving home for Christmas. Before I could drive myself home, I had to get a new car, so I bought a 1998 Chevy Malibu with around 65,000 miles on it from Mr. Whitehead for less than $3000. Brilliant, I thought. I only drove the thing to work and back, about ten miles round trip, with the occasional trip to Seabrook, NH or Framingham. So I put very few miles on it. Less than three weeks after I bought it, the timing belt went, making me lose power steering and having the engine overheat. It was towed from Salem to Gloucester, fixed, and returned. Two weeks later, the check engine light turned on. Brought it in, they fixed it, and then the NEXT FUCKING DAY it was on again. So, instead of just blowing it out of the system, they fix it. Nope. A week later, same problem. They fix it, and again, a week later. They refuse to give me a receipt, which is against the lemon law--even if the work is free of charge. This happens again 3 weeks later. They "find out" what's wrong with it, order a part, I bring it back, and they fix it again. Thank Christ, I finally have a car that works. Not bloody likely. Again, less than a week later, the same problem arrises.

In total, this has happened about six or seven times.

My father calls attorney general, the office of consumer affairs to follow up on the lemon law--as all of this happened under the warrantee time--and they say we have to make them aware that this is the last time we're giving them a chance to fix it before demanding a refund. Whitehead gives us all kinds of shit, saying they could be charging us for the work they're doing, which they can't because it's under warrantee, and that there's depreciation on the car if they buy it back, which is true but they also have to pay for the inspection, registration, and everything else I paid on the car, and they refused. My dad makes an appointment to have my car fixed Thursday. Now, I wasn't there for most of this. I would have said fuck no, because I'm on spring break and want to go away. When I got there, my dad said all of this, and I was pissed. I want my money and I want a new car--preferably one that never even crossed this asshole's field of vision. I'm swearing and I'm angry and not without reason. I've been without my car 3-4 days a week for the past month. My mom has had to drive from Gloucester to Salem just to bring me to work because the car is a piece of shit. So, after my mother arrives, we go in to speak with them again they are trying to be helpful and I'm trying to be quiet so I don't threaten them or something. My mom is getting upset, and they tell her to calm down. I say "I haven't said a word, and you don't want me to start" and this is where Whitehead motherfucker says he heard me talking outside and "he wouldn't be proud of me if I were his son." Man is lucky to still be breathing, talking to me like that. People like him exist to make me look better.

In the end, I left the car there, because there is no way I'm driving it back later this week. So he refused that he has to pay for everything, which will be a surprise to him when the attorney general says he has to. That, or I rip his fucking throat out.

These people are so stupid, they have lost THOUSANDS of dollars because of flooding and they don't have insurance. You would think that after the first time, they would spring for the insurance. Nope. Happened again. And they were still surprised. What's more is they give my mother attitude and act like she is so far below them, but they treat my father with respect. Misogyny is not uncommon among the retarded Gloucester people, but they shouldn't bring it into their business practices.

So, after thirty years of good reputation, I come to bury Whitehead, not to praise him. He is a rude asshole motherfucker who thinks he's better than everyone else when he obviously isn't. His son, who also works at the shop, isn't much better and thinks he's doing me such a huge favor by doing his fucking job and fixing the car which is still under warrantee. After selling me a lemon and being so hesitant to put any real effort into fixing it, they are calling bullshit on the lemon law. Regardless of how this turns out, I cannot stress enough how awful these people are and how shoddy their business practices are. Typical Gloucester people: stupid and just plain bad. Uneducated, and look down on those who don't know anything about cars despite the fact that I am going to go places in this world that they will never see pictures of, because they don't deserve a life like that. Would you really want to do business with a place that treats people as such and takes shortcuts in repairs, just to get the upper hand for the bill after the warrantee is over and the problem comes up again? You get what you pay for. Tell them to eat shit, flood their lot, and laugh because they still don't have insurance.

-Evan "Dez" O'Connor